Self-worth

"…But if a mirror ever makes

you sad

you should know
that it does
not know
you."

-unknown

Seems like an unusually relaxing/ homework-free/ nothing to do kinda day today, and it kinda makes me feel weird. Hmm. Quite a sharp contrast from the usual hectic back-to-back plans + stress loaded day. Was just thinking about my future while searching up information about universities on the net. Can't imagine that I've actually reached this point of life where I'm venturing into adulthood. Concurrently, I've actually been thinking about the boys part of my life. Considering that I ain't pretty with my scarred face/ crooked teeth/ fat body (I sound real degrading of myself here but there is an ounce of truth in all these I'm saying), I don't actually think I'll ever get married. It's my first time saying this out loud, and I hope no one actually reads this. The pains of having a virtual diary. Since it's the Internet,  I'm sure somebody will eventually get to it. Crap. But what needs to be said, will be said. I've actually had some inkling of what my ideal guy is like; not a definitive version; but yeah. I'm far from a sophisticated girl as ts described to be: smart, independent, has her own sense of style, confident in herself. I'm far from that. Far far from that. 

Anyway, there are more important things to think about like acing BT1s. I can't mutli-task like others. It's either one thing or the other, never both. Studies or social life or personal development/indulgence. Grow up E, it's about time.