Drowning

Depression seems to hit me ever so often nowadays. Is it normal? Yes? No? Maybe. Have I always been that negative my entire life?

Looking at myself, I can't help but detest whatever I see. Looks, character - imperfections. I don't know what to feel anymore. Never was as eloquent as others, never as talented, never as beautiful. Perhaps the potential was there. But then again, all it was was purely potential. A facade covering the innate lack of substantiation of the claim. It is purely the should haves, and the what ifs, nothing more, nothing less. Potential. And I'd like to think that I did indeed have much potential, although ultimately, it remained as potential, a goal close to, but never met.

There it leaves me, there but not there. And sometimes to think of it, this is the worst position to be in, because potential builds up all your hopes, only for it to come crashing down on you like a torrential rainstorm. Average, or maybe less than average. I just hope that one day things will change for the better, or maybe I'll just come to terms with what I am born with.