I just want someone to tell me it's okay. It's okay not to get a 4.5 GPA. It's okay not to have a boyfriend. It's okay to grow old alone. It's okay to just be enough. It's okay to just try each and everyday. It's okay to be mediocre. It's okay to not be who you want me to.
Time and time again, I feel the waves of being not enough. Not smart enough to match up to my peers, not pretty enough to match up to his ideal type, not kind or positive enough to be a good friend.
I feel myself drowning and drowning, but time is not stopping. Time is carrying on, people are trudging on and so should i. But i feel like I sprained my ankle and can't get up. But the thing is that no one knows, or no one believes me because I'm sitting down. And therefore I'm left behind, all alone.
20 more days to finals, and I'm screwed.
I do want it. I do want a scholarship to go to LSE, to get out of here. But will there be a difference? Won't it be the same? study study study. Get a good grade because your parents invested so much in you.
I do want a 1st class honours, to get a good job, a 'good' future.
I do want a boyfriend, to spend time with me, love me and help me out in ways I can't do so myself.
I do want it all.
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