It’s just eleven here. It’s cold outside, some slightly above zero temperatures I believe. I’m all wrapped up like a dumpling, as the faulty heater tries its best to slowly warm me up.
It feels nice. As I type this I hear the occasional snores and grunts from the neighbouring bunkers like an unrehearsed orchestra chanting an awkward tune. Outside my bay window, halogen lights light up the streets below and stain the streets with purple hues amidst the drunken cackles of working men walking by.
As I lie in my cocoon of warmth, I can't help but think of the old man who sleeps under the overhead bridge just round the corner of my hostel - it's cold outside, does he really have no where to go? Where does he disappear to at sunrise? Travelling is not as romantic as what everybody thinks. Behind that filtered photos and fuzzy captions are moments that are thoughtfully hidden and purposely concealed. I don’t talk about the slight discrimination that I faced in slot machine eateries, the drunkenness that I needed to deal with when I stayed in the hostel, and the constant wariness as I travelled around at night. Thank god, I met a friend I learnt to trust, or I'd probably be sleeping my nights away in Japan in the safety of my hostel.
Then again, outside of my comfort zone, I noticed things I didn't quite take note of before. I forced myself to talk to people instead of shutting my curtains and turning up the volume on my earphones. In one of the hostels, I met a Swedish girl who asked me along to eat yakitori (meat skewers) down the block of our hostel. As we trudged through the awkward introductions, I learnt she had been doing odd jobs for the past few years. Passing her an incredulous look, she added, "oh, I model on the side". She left her job, travelled around for a few weeks before looking for a job again. When asked what job is she looking for. She shook her head, and answered, “just some odd jobs. If its good, I’ll stay for a few years, if not I’ll resign in a few months.” Being a final year student, looking towards the bleakness of my own future, slight despair and weariness enveloped that conversation and I wondered, if that is what it means to find a job solely to make ends meet.
One of those nights Jiggae and I were loitering around the 24/7 Sukiya, we happened to strike up a conversation with a Vietnamese girl who was stationed at the counter wiping cups. She said she left her job back at home, and she has been around Japan indefinitely. She told us she's a university graduate that studied industrial design, but yet there she was in front of us, wiping bowls and taking orders. She travels an hour to work everyday, and shares an apartment with the 2 other girls at the back of the store - all Vietnamese. Hearing the countries we came from, her face lit up, looking at us in awe: "Wow, you are very lucky, I wanted to go to America, but my English wasn't good." We then asked her if she had any plans of finding a better job, maybe a design-related one in Japan, but she simply said "we'll see."
Maybe we’re all pilgrims on a journey. In the great abyss called life, we’re all searching for answers subconsciously. Some are questioning their life purposes, some are waiting for validation about their identity, and some, are escaping from the social system that they’re living in. And some, are simply waiting for people who are going to tell them,
“Its ok, because after every harsh winter, comes the blossoming spring. ”
Maybe like what George Orwell said,
“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”
Some of us, are born with privileges that we never earned by our own merit. I never earned anything to become a Singaporean, but I got all the privileges that a Singaporean can enjoy. Automatic passageway, with visa free entrances into many countries and people’s admiration. But there are some, who have to struggle harder to climb to the top, simply because of a family background that they never had the privilege of choosing.
On a side note, knowing my personality, I honestly doubt that the friendships I forged in my short time in Japan can be maintained, and perhaps after a year or two, I don't know how much of the memories will remain in my head and heart. But for now, I’m immensely thankful for everything. For all the ups and downs, good and bad that are weaving into a beautiful tapestry.
Praise the Lord.
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