Melancholiness hits at the finest hour. Not so fine in my opinion. My thoughts are in such a unfathomable mess. Everyone is at their peak, and here I am at a stage of stagnation, or perhaps utter decline. Helplessness perhaps, is what I feel. But then again, I know what it is I must do, yet I do not have the will to carry them out. Useless, hopeless. Time and time again. Failure after failure. Yet, I still do not seem to learn. What is life all about, I ask myself. Then again, I question myself of the reason for me asking this question. Hasn't that been ingrained into me - life on Earth is a preparation for eternity in Heaven. A life with God. But the thing is, I'm on a slippery slope. Backsliding away from my sole purpose. And i'm not doing anything, absolutely nothing. Overly emotional, immature, and undefined, is what I might call myself. Unable to separate the tasks I have to do, and my personal emotions. "Block them out", my conscience tells me. Yet I fall back time and time again. I need to do this, before its too late. Timo says "just be baller and kill it", and push on. I can do this right?
On a separate note, the feeling of inequality looming in this world. The evident flaunting of wealth, and perhaps a better life. And then on the other hand, you see widespread suffering in other places. Why, why do some people have such a perfect, or perhaps close to perfect life? This is highly superficial, but isn't that what we all are chasing after? Good grades, social life, nice houses, cars, exotic locations, or even the standard globetrotter.
"Store up treasures that can be stored up in heaven." Always remember that.
Will tomorrow be better?
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