Procrastination at its finest

So apparently plans fail. My studying schedule has totally been renewed and slowed down. Oh well. Hong Kong was a blast although the shopping we did kinda sucked in my opinion. But the company and laughter was memorable. Wolf dancing, morning tim sum and starbucks hunting, night parties and gossiping/stalking while doing masks, the Heirs marathon, exo spazzing alone, etc etc etc. The loft was great too :-)

Anyway back in Singapore I gotta get back on track. No idea how others are keeping up but on twitter it seems like everyone's got their gears going already. I better get my head back in the game too.

Off to econs! Bye!

Plans.

Great news! I've promoted to J2. The fear of JC1 has finally passed, and now I say - I'm a survivor! Honestly, it wasn't easy. This year has been the year I cried the most. Mostly due to being thrown into a foreign environment with different people and harder subjects.

But now the question is... Will I survive J2? Honestly, I don't really know. Neither do I currently have the motivation to pick myself up from the poor foundation my studies are built on. I know my marks seems okay, but I'm not really sure of myself as of yet. Today, teachers have been grilling us on the need to start studying, like right as this minute. But I haven't pulled myself off the holiday mood. I mean like the heirs marathon, exo videos all night long. Eu-ru-rong! Awuuuu!

What do I want to do in the future. It seems so close as of now. Can't believe I'll turn 17 in a blink of an eye. This time next year, most likely I'd be sweating my pants off. Gosh. Anyway, I've got a clear goal ahead of me - to clear A levels, 90 rank point style? Maybe. Because that's the only thing I can fall back on due to my lack of decisiveness. It's either a perfect score, or a compromised choice later on.

1. Read more. But read what? newspapers, online magazines.... bleh.
2. Start revising my foundation.
3. Start making notes.
4. Read ahead
5. Wean off kpop. Like how you did.
6. Start a body clock schedule.
7. Be organised! Don't procrastinate!
8. Determination & Grit
9. Fight it to the top! Sunbaenim now go!

OVER-sheltered

Hmm... So how should I put this. It's been a while ever since I last wrote on this space. Through the few weeks that has passed, I'd liked to say that much has been accomplished. Here, at the final leg of Project Work, I have to say that it's been quite a journey. Moodswings, late nights, no sleep (yes, no sleep at all). I'm just glad it's over. Promo results will be released this friday, and I am definitely not stoked for it. Expecting a poor grade, as usual. What happened to high-flyer-me? Haha, I guess that's history? Although, deep down I really hope that my intellectual capabilities will all return to me and flood my life with bountiful blessings in the form of perfect scores for A levels. 

And now, that brings me to the main point of this post. I am long-winded aren't I? Sigh. Anyway, a few minutes ago, I got lectured by my parents on my incapabilities. But the things is that even though I very much wanted to correct it, what my parents were saying to me seemed as though they were trying to push it aside and resign me to the fact that I am so inadequate. 

I know I've been much of a sheltered kid. Having my dad ferry me to and fro from school. Never ever having worked in my entire life. Texting my dad to pick me up when it gets kinda late. I mean hey c'mon, it's not like I don't have the brains to take public transport home, or I'm scared or anything. It's always been you guys saying it's not safe to go home at like 11pm by myself. Like whoa, where in the world was that my suggestion. So I don't see why you would and should laugh at me when I said that I want to get a job after my As? Like which teenager, or which person in fact, would like someone laughing in their face when they are being downright serious. Plus, when I said that I want to travel with my friends, there came the wave of criticisms - you're too blur to get around/have you watched Criminal Investigation/I don't care if its a big group of friends/ You're a girl. 

Like hey, how many kids out there in Singapore have travelled with their friends. I mean its not like I'm still in high school. I'm gonna be 18 next year. Age definitely is not a sign of maturity, and I know I act like a dork at home, but don't you get it? It's just because I'm awkward around you guys. I may regret saying all this when I'm kidnapped and sold to thailand or something, but I would just like to get a taste of travel with my friends. Period. 

So I've decided that I'm going to master korean, before I go to korea. Hahah what a plan I've got there. Also, truthfully, I really want to go to the UK to study, but that being only if I am eligible at LSE or UCL or even better. The thought of spending 2 years in a foreign country seems kind of daunting to me, but isn't that how everyone starts out? Study hard, esther. 90 rank points. 90. 90. 90. 

Which course am I aiming for? I don't know either. All I know that 90 rank points will open me up to a world of possibilities, to be the best that I can be.