"Nothing behind me, everything ahead of me, as is ever so on the road." - Jack
Kerouac
Today's the big day of a supposed transition into adulthood, but somehow indifference plagues me like a tidal wave. The notion of having a wholly new level of maturity as this "special" day calls for is quite disheartening for me an adolescent. Maybe it's just me, but being legal is not exactly a thing that should be celebrated in my opinion. Being legal only calls for greater responsibilities and harsher consequences. It means more choices but also more decisions to be made.
It's like as soon as you hit the big 18, people no longer say you're growing up, because after all you're legal, you're an adult. They make it out as if as soon as you're done with college and university a couple of years later there's no more growing up to do, you're sort of at maximum capacity. In other words, you're forced to grow up. Forced to act mature, even if you're not. You're forced to act your age in a sense.
I don't know why society, and even I at times, have this notion in our minds that as soon as you get out of college, you need to get you serious shit together. As if this magical fairy is going to pop out and give us adulthood. I mean come on, I don't even look the part! And when we don't get the whole adulthood thing we stay stuck in our parents house and work part-time jobs that aren't related to our degrees and half the time feel like utter failures. Not only that, nobody is there to encourage you, because they're speeding on their own highways to success, or maybe just a slightly brighter future than yours. You're looked at like this giant lame ass who is wafting around life, when every single day you're trying to make ends meet and still try to maintain being happy with your shortcomings. Your parents, friends, the world look at you with encouraging smiles that hide wry feelings of disappointment, pity and distaste; acting like there's nothing more you can do. After all isn't this a rigid society we live in?
But then again this is a timely reminder to myself that it's okay to not know. It's okay to keep on growing up and keep on figuring out things. Most people are just fucking up and growing alongside you and me. I'm sure there are tons of people clueless about their life's direction, and we're sort of in this together. Well we can always change our minds. There's no cut off age to growing up. People just keep trying to scare us into adulthood an it gets stressful when you fell like you're the only person not doing it right. But believe me, you're not the only one and i haven't figured a single shit out either. But we're okay, I'm okay, and I hope you're okay.
