thinking about life

At 22, entering adulthood, there are things that come to people's minds naturally when they think of us at this point in our life. Jobs, relationships, family. Well, I am working my butt off to secure a job I want... Family, well, we're good... Relationships. Aha. Haven't figured that one out yet.

Was talking with J about life and all, and at the back of my mind I was just thinking:

• Is it wrong or is it THAT bad, to be single and NOT looking? 

• Why do girls need to dress a little less conservative at the club? Why does our dressing even matter? 

• Why do I have to reason to you why I don't put myself out there to meet people at this age? Maybe I just don't want to? Is that wrong of me to do so? 

• Do I have to wear a tad less cloth on my body, and inch shorter shorts for a guy to look my way? 

Why do all of these matter? I just feel sad thinking about how society has evolved to the stage where more and more people - lonely souls (?) - are seeking for relationships based on these superficial criteria. Is there some sort of pressure for us, at 22, to be attached? To go to clubs, or trawl through dating apps to find the one? At this point in my life, I just don't find the energy, don't feel the attraction to anyone. Perhaps... it's just me. But as a reminder to myself:

The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. - 1 Samuel 16:7

Dark clouds

The worry of finding a job after graduation is just looming in my mind now.

With competitiveness ramping up within the cohort, I wonder if its possible for me to get a Summa GPA for this semester.

Even if I do get one, will it be in time for bank applications? Day by day I question the sum I invested in this course. Is it worth it? Will it help me find a better job?

I really really want to get into the global graduate rotation programme, but then again what are my chances. I'm scared. I'm stressed. Lord, I put this into Your hands. I really really pray that you will lead me to where I am supposed to go.

Help me to focus on my studies now, and get that GPA. Thereafter, network and apply. Thereafter, ace those interviews, and hopefully I get that job.

Mind over matter. Mind over matter.