Two nights ago, traveling on the bus with Erina and Eugene, I saw this elderly man that reminded me of Yeh Yeh. The tanned brown skin that was slightly dry and dotted with age spots, the beige patterned shirt that hid a slightly smaller belly than how i remembered, the "old-man" sandals that Yeh Yeh was fond of buying during our road trips to Malaysia together. Perhaps it was the alcohol, or the fatigue, or the menstrual melancholiness, but he really did look like a skinnier, and younger version of my grandfather. Honestly, I do miss him. After he left, the family has not really been a family anymore. Yes, the good thing is that Ma Ma goes to church now, but there are rarely anymore sunday gatherings, no more road trips, no more durians, no more homecooked food, no more playing soccer with cousins at the driveway, no more familial activities.
To say a person to be the pillar of the household, I once thought was an overstatement. But perhaps, it seems evident to me that maybe, just maybe Yeh Yeh was the pillar, but now there's no more him. Why am I even saying all this. I hope you're doing well in heaven. Actually, I know you are.
Love,
E
